by Leslie Crawford and Sierra Senyak
Last updated: March 2008
Source:
Baby CenterGone are the days when the postpartum period meant throwing on a baggy sweatshirt and forgetting about your body for a while. Not with celeb-mommies showing up in Us and Star looking teeny and toned just weeks after giving birth. It's downright confusing: What's a woman supposed to look like four months after having a baby? Like Heidi Klum, glowing and gorgeous in size 4 jeans? Or the woman down the street with the size 16 pooch? If you're still wearing your maternity clothes, does that make you so very unusual? And if you're overweight now, are you destined to be that way forever?
Just like you, we at BabyCenter wondered: When it comes to postpartum weight issues, what's normal? So we surveyed more than 7,000 moms with babies ranging in age from just a few days to 2 years old. The big finding — that for many women, the post-baby bulge can be frustratingly hard to lose — is more reassuring than it sounds.
"For most people, the weight doesn't just melt off," says Madelyn Fernstrom, director of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center's weight management program. "Even the celebrities who lose the weight within three months have to work out regularly — usually for extended amounts of time measured in hours, not minutes, which means getting outside help with the baby — and diet to do it. It's hard for pretty much everyone."
But far from impossible. Many new moms who struggle with their weight — including those for whom it's been a lifelong issue — manage to get not just trimmer in the post-baby era but healthier than they've ever been. So read the results of our exclusive poll, find out what real women experience — and breathe a sigh of relief. Whatever the state of your body these days, you've got plenty of company.
The truth about baby fatMany new moms assume that losing their baby fat will be much easier than it really is.
"I had this misconception that I would be back to my old shape within days," one survey taker told us. "I even brought my old clothes to wear home from the hospital! I had to ask my husband to bring my maternity clothes from home."
It's a common delusion. In our survey, 65 percent of brand-new mothers said they expected to be back down to their pre-pregnancy weight by their baby's first birthday. But when we polled moms of 1- to 2-year-olds, over half were still carrying at least a few extra pounds.
Of course, a fair number of women do get in shape fast: Almost a fifth of our survey moms with newborns (3 months old or younger) said they'd already lost all their baby weight. According to Fernstrom, a year is a more realistic timeline for even a motivated new mom, with the last 10 pounds taking the longest to shed. The not-so-surprising reason? "Busyness and fatigue make it hard to find time to exercise," she says, "which is what you need for more rapid loss."
Shape-shifting effectFor many moms, the extra weight isn't the only shocker."You may weigh the same or less after your pregnancy, but your clothes will fit differently!" lamented one mom in our survey. "I weigh less now, but I wear a larger size." If you've been surprised by the way pregnancy has reconfigured your body, you're hardly alone.
More than half of our moms said their breasts are different now, and more than a third said they have wider hips. But the post-baby tummy — "my mommy fluff," as one woman put it; "this bulbous tire around my middle," another complained — is what really seems to blow most moms away. One to two years after having their baby, 87 percent of women say their stomach still hasn't returned to normal.
The good news: According to Fernstrom, it's possible to regain your old muscle tone — or even develop tone you never had before — no matter how old you are. But it takes time. Expect to wait at least six months and up to a year before your tummy starts to look somewhat recognizable — and that's with regular exercise and sit-ups.
On the down side, muscle tone is not the same as skin tone. Some women are genetically vulnerable to stretch marks and saggy skin. These may look better over time, but they may not go away completely. Skin will also lose some elasticity after each birth — and with age. So if you had your kids later in life, it will be that much harder to restore your tummy to its former firmness.
Still, not all changes are unwelcome. As one new mom noted, "I have boobs now — and I didn't have to pay for them!"
Weight-loss plateauIt's definitely tougher to shed the pounds if you gained more than the recommended amount.
"For my first two babies, I was told to eat whatever I wanted. Big mistake!" said one of our survey moms. "I gained 50 pounds with my first and almost 40 with my second. Then, for my last one, I gained just 25 pounds. Not only did I feel great throughout the pregnancy, I returned to my pre-pregnancy weight in six months instead of two years."
If you exceeded the recommended limit of 35 pounds, join the club. So did 42 percent of our survey takers. And if the extra weight has presented a challenge for you, you've got lots of company there as well. Just 32 percent of our big gainers managed to shed all their pregnancy weight by their baby's first birthday versus 50 percent of moms who gained less. A year or two after the birth, the heavier moms were also more likely to be carrying at least 10 extra pounds (49 percent versus 36 percent).
Still, there's no point in beating yourself up about how much you gained when you were pregnant. Instead, try to focus on getting healthier as you move forward. "My son is 8 months old, and I'm just 7 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight (and that's after my 52-pound weight gain!), so it can be done," one mom told us. "It just may take a little time and patience."
The mommy metabolism mythLosing weight is harder after a baby — but not for the reason you might think.
"I feel like my body has a new set point now," one of our survey takers complained. "Before, I never had to watch my weight. I was always the same, no matter what. That hasn't changed — except that I'm 15 pounds heavier."
The notion that having a baby fundamentally changes a woman's metabolism was common among the new mothers we surveyed. Nearly 90 percent of the moms who were overweight one to two years later blamed pregnancy for either triggering or worsening their weight problem. Among moms with two or more kids, 49 percent said that peeling off the pounds was easiest after their first pregnancy.
But according to Fernstrom, it's not your metabolism that slows down in the postpartum months — it's you. (When was the last time you had an hour to spend at the gym?) Also getting in the way of good intentions are the stress and fatigue that come with caring for a baby, both classic triggers for repeated trips to the cookie jar.
Nor does your body hang on to excess fat more stubbornly with each child, Fernstrom says. Metabolism does gradually slow with age, but the real reason veteran moms are less likely to get back into their old jeans: They retain baby weight from each pregnancy. "If you've got 60 pounds to lose versus 20, it feels harder, and it is," she says. "But there's no biological reason it's harder to lose the weight after your third child than after your first."
New Hampshire survey mom Sheena Harte, who has six kids, is living proof that trimming down doesn't have to get more difficult each time. After struggling to get back in shape after her first two pregnancies, she's lost all her baby weight within a month or so the last four times. "I finally learned to tune in to my body," she says, "and now I eat only when I'm hungry."
Uncomfortable in the skin I'm inAll the changes can take a major toll on your self-esteem.
"When my body didn't bounce back, as I had been told it would by well-intentioned friends and family members, I was devastated," one new mom told us.
Unfortunately, a majority of our survey moms can relate. Over half confessed that their body image has gotten worse since they became a mother; another 16 percent said they never liked their body before, and having a baby hasn't helped matters one bit.
If anything, the Ironmom-next-door can be harder on the ego than Gwyneth, Reese, or Kate. "I ran into someone who had twins six weeks ago, and she was wearing low-rise jeans with a perfectly flat tummy," moans 40-year-old Ray Caldito of Los Angeles, who had her twins nine months ago and is still 10 pounds heavier than she'd like to be. "With a celebrity mom, you can attribute it to a tummy tuck or a personal trainer. But with regular moms, it seems more like willpower."
What's more, as time passes and the pounds come off — perhaps not as quickly or completely as anticipated — a new mom's body image doesn't really get any better. Just over 65 percent of brand-new moms say they don't like their body versus just over 64 percent of moms of 1- to 2-year-olds.
Even the lucky few who lose the baby weight quickly may have a rough time accepting themselves. Kimberly Benkwitt of Pelham, New York, has lost all her pregnancy weight plus another 25 pounds and has more energy than ever — a good thing, since the 34-year-old is chasing after two toddlers as well as caring for 3-month-old Finleigh. But her pregnancy pooch leaves her feeling anything but beautiful. "I'm at the lowest weight I've ever been at as an adult," she says, "yet I'm the least comfortable with my body."
All in the familyBut chances are your mate still thinks you're sexy.
"My husband has been phenomenal," says Kara Jones, 27, a mother of two who lives in British Columbia. "He notices that I'm losing weight and firming up and gives me lots of compliments and encouragement. But at the same time, he's happy with who I am. He's always told me that I'm beautiful and has never once pressured me to lose weight."
Jones is lucky, but she's hardly the exception. Only about 5 percent of new moms reported hearing complaints from their partners about their postpartum weight or shape.
Joan Chrisler, a body image expert who teaches at Connecticut College, isn't surprised. "Lots of studies have shown that women think men want them to be thinner than men really want them to be," she says. "Researchers will show women sketches of female figures and ask, which do you think men believe is the ideal? Men always pick significantly bigger sizes than women think they want." So if your mate says you look great, believe it.
On the other hand, plenty of other people seem to feel free to offer their critiques of your postpartum body. Nearly half of our survey moms said they got negative comments from their parents, and a quarter got them from an in-law. Even strangers seem to feel entitled to put in their two cents, with 18 percent of moms saying they got hurtful comments from people they didn't even know. (On a more positive note, our survey moms have received more compliments and encouragement than criticism from people in all these groups.)
Free to be meYou can get to a weight you feel comfortable with even if you've packed on the pounds
Thirty-year-old Amanda Denn of Montgomery, Texas, gained 75 pounds right before and during her first pregnancy. Although she lost 20 of them soon after her daughter's birth, her weight plateaued for the next ten months. Then her sister-in-law encouraged her to sign up at a new Curves location with a set routine she could fit into her lunch break. "Six months later, I've lost 45 pounds and am very happy with how I look," she says. "And with the healthy way I lost the weight, I have a better chance of keeping it off."
Just as pregnancy inspires some women to eat more healthfully, motherhood can provide an opportunity to forge a new identity around food. That's what onetime yo-yo dieter Susan Olsen of Riverside, California, has discovered. By the time she got pregnant, the 28-year-old had been struggling to lose the same 30 pounds since college. But it wasn't until her daughter, Madelyn, now 7 months, arrived that she found the inspiration to change how she ate for good.
"I grew up with a mom who was about 100 pounds overweight, and I didn't want to be like that," Olsen says. "I want to be able to run around and play with Madelyn." So she joined Weight Watchers (again), started exercising, and this time, her resolve has stuck. So far, she's lost 41 pounds — 14 more than she gained during her pregnancy. She proclaims proudly, "I can now say I'm in better shape after bringing my beautiful baby into the world."
