Ah benci

Dear Fattytini,

Kenapa lepas bersalin, beratku di takuk 54 kg? Tak turun-turun nie.

(Aida, Aida, mana taknya, pelahap jer makan)

43kg?

Dear Fattytini..

EHEHEHEH..
I am now at 50 kg, can you please make sure my target is 43kg by 31st December 2009.
I gained 1 kg back due to the fact I ate 2 chappatis in the morning :P

[46]

Dear Fattytini.

I need serious HELP! My weight keep on increasing

I now stands at 57 kg (a record breaker for me!)

Now, in desperate mode...

Religiously drinks HL, but still keep on increasing?

HELP!

[36]

Dear Fattytini,

Isn't it nice to have group diet.. HOHOHO
I am much more motivated to diet hecause of you and Aini

Cheer up girls! You know you shouldn't whine about your weight, but isn't it good that we can whine about it with each other

(Err, my husband could not understand why I am on diet)

Tapi tabik spring la ada kakak kita tu bawa tea mix masa buat lunch treat last week :P

[34]

Dear Fattytini

You know the yummylicious Big Apple donuts?

The mouth watering ones

The soft fluffy ones...

Pic from: Masak-masak's blog

I bought those and crumbled my resolution of not eating those

And I ate those chocolates ones :p. Argh!

[29]

Dear Fattytini,

Yes, what do you think? Do you think I lose weight when I was hospitalised?
Dang, you know that hospitals provide full set of breakfast, lunch, tea & dinner?
And I was anticipating every meal, since I think it's yummy-licious indeed [even though with green leafy and such]
They do have cream of mushroom soup, ikan bakar with asam (slurp*), ayam paprik, anything
The menu varies everyday, but you get to choose within four menus given
I don't think I can even remember when was the last time I had proper eating behaviour
Skip dinner - always!
I only snack with biscuits or such

Now, with HL, I'm trying to lose my weight, I should be determined!

My aunt told me something, some du'a to be read. The du'a is appropriate for someone who has serious illness, but I think for our quest to lose weight, we can try it

Panduan Menyembuhkan Penyakit

Ini pula panduan untuk menyembuhkan penyakit-penyakit seperti penyakit jantung, kencing manis, darah tinggi dll..

1. Baca doa sebelum makan :-
Bismillahilladzi at'a'mana wasaqana waja'a'lana muslimin. Maksud doa ini ialah : 'Dengan nama Allah yang memberi kami makan dan kami minum dan menjadikan kami orang Islam'.

2. Baca doa maathur yang berikut :-
Bismillahilladzi layadhurru ma'a'smihi syaiun fil ardhi wala fissama'i wahuassami'u'l a'lim. Maksud doa ini ialah :- 'Dengan nama Allah yang tiada memberi mudharat selagi bersama dengan namaNya segala sesuatu yang di bumi dan tidak yang di langit dan Dia Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui'.

3. Baca doa berikut sebanyak 3 kali :-
Wayazidkum quwwatan ila quwwatikum wala tatawallau mujrimin (petikan ayat 52 surah Hud). Maksud ayat ini ialah :- 'Dan Dia menambahkan kekuatan kepada kekuatanmu dan janganlah kamu berpaling dengan berbuat dosa'.

Amalkan panduan ini setiap kali sebelum makan.

(Panduan ini diperolehi oleh anak sulong kami daripada salah seorang ustaz di tempat kerjanya, khas untuk ayahnya yang ada masalah jantung).

Yes, I recite the du'a everytime now, insya Allah, will try my best to be consistent, and will try my best to achieve ideal weight

[18]

Dear Diary,
I used to wear size 18, and today, I am wearing size 16 woohoo! Most importantly, my tummy doesn't look bulgy ugly. However, I still need to wear a long jacket to cover my ever so huge butt :-p

Wait a minute.

Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, the manufacturer made a mistake in labelling the size? I seriously think so. I mean like, it is so unlikely I can fit into size 16 without guilt.

OK, I'm depressed.

[17]

Dear Diary,
I bought a digital scale last Friday. Not only it weigh you body weight, it can also provide information on the percentage of body fat and hydration level.

At my age, I am supposed to have only 20% fat, less is more. But the figure on the scale dissappoint huhuhu. I have like, 40%+++ fat, which is like, GLARING RED! A disaster!! Horrendous!!!

And the scale also told me, that I need to drink more water. I was like, hello?? I'm already drinking water like a camel, whaddaya mean I'm not drinking enough?

Yeah, truth hurts.

Oh by the way, after two weeks of changing my eating habit and consuming Herbalife, I've managed to lose 0.5 kg. Good news, finally :-)

[16]

Dear Diary,
Oh why oh why? Diary tell me why.

When I am determined to go on a diet, food is everywhere put afront my eyes. Like yesterday, I had to attend a presentation by a vendor for a new intersettlement system at Le Meridien, KL. At first, I was doing well because they only served cookies for breakfast, and thank god my cookies taste better than that, so I only took one bite. For tea break, roti jala and pau was served. Again, I persevered.

To my horror though, we were escorted to the hotel's restaurant for a buffet lunch. I watched in disbelief on the array of food they set on the serving table. They have oyster, roasted lamb, barbecue, pastas, indian, chinese, penang, sushis, oh you name it. There are even chocolate fountains for you to dip with strawberries, marshmallows and cakes ala Datuk Siti. Dessert? Oh god. That is my weakest point. I took a plateful of cheesecake, pies, puddings, cakes and more cakes. Four flavours of ice cream are available, and you can top that with lots of assorted nuts, chocolate chips, marshmallows etc, placed in a rack mounted on a wall.

How can I not lose this battle? :-p

And today, office is having a farewell party for some of our colleagues who transferred to another unit, as well as for Hafiz (my cheeky 23-year old staff) to further his study in Japan.

Oh well.

[15]

Dear Diary,
It really is tough for a chaotic and unorganized woman i.e. me to jot down every details of my food intake. I mean like, I don't even jot down the details of my meeting, and people have to call to remind me to go the meeting, which has started like 15 minutes? whatmore trivia matters like how much chicken I ate in a day.

But what choice do I have? My clock is ticking. Real fast. If I don't eliminate all those BAD BAD BAD fat that currently residing happily like nobody's business in my body, I need to change my whole wardrobe! I mean, that bad OK?

Every morning is a frantic search of,"OK what shall I wear today?" and it really is disappointing to found out that my 8-feet built-in wardrobe and two cupboards do not contain an acceptable number of clothes [read: without being asked, haven't you wear this last Monday? which is politically unwelcomed question from a woman to another woman] that I can comfortably wear, and without showing the bulges in my stomach and butt. Depressing.

Since I refuse to unnecessarily spend more money on clothes (plus the fact that the fashion industry is not in favor of REAL people), I think the only option available is to lose weight. And to have all my meal jotted down is one step towards achieving that goal.

I was made to understand that keeping a journal assist in weight management. Especially for people with lack of discipline, as it instill a sense of responbility to keep on updating and keep you on track of your ultimate objective. A journal also helps to evaluate your diet plan and lifestyle, provide insights of what have went wrong, what's best for you, and improve your plan along the way.

Let's see if that tip holds any weight :-)

[12]

Dear Fattytini,

Should I whine about my weight?

OF COURSE since the 2 girls inside this blog already wrote about their weight gain!

Excuse me, can breastfeeding be used as an excuse of MY weight gain?

Tsk tsk

IT IS SO ME!

[11]

Dear Fattytini.

Still remember what I wrote here? HAHAHA, it's funny really, quite cynical, perhaps!
I gain another kilo.

I still use the elevator

I still take heavy breakfast

Yes, I hit the Gym, but my weight is still increasing

I need SERIOUS help here

HELP!

[10]

Dear Diary,
HAHAHAHAHA.

Forgive me, but I can't help rolling on the floor laughing. I mean, you sound so genuine and sincere. You asked,

"How was it since the last time we met? Did you achieve your goal? 65 kg by 1 January 2008?"

that I burst into laughter.

I laughed, and laughed, and laughed, till I cried.

Yes, my dear friend, not only I failed to achieve my target, the fact is that, I gained another 10. I mean, like, isn't that a horrostic thing to happen? to a young, full of potential women, like me? Super duper horror.

What?!!! Whateva happened to your action plan bla bla bla? Didn't you follow all that? What is wrong with you, Tini? No wonder you have always been fat.

Yeah yeah. Stop being a nag. I have enough self-guilt. Obviously, my lack of self discipline and perseverence is to be blamed no less.

I pledge to you, my dear diary, to take charge of my life, and take on that Herbalife challenge. I want to be beautiful, and I am going to be.

[9]

Dear Diary,
Long time no see eh?

Well, should you ask, yes I am still fat. Never been fatter. Fat like a fat woman should be. Fat, fatter, fattest. And to further emphasize on that point, I actually gain 3 kilos from the last time I wrote.

BUT.

I am not going to let my body rule me. Before I got myself heart complication, high blood pressure, diabetes and many more obese-related disease, I better change my lifestyle.

GOAL
By 1 January 2008, I shall weight 65 kg.

STRATEGY
i. Healthy eating
ii. Exercizing

ACTION PLAN
i. Healthy eating
- No matter how much I hate green leaves, I have to eat them.
- Eat a lot of fruits, especially fruits that assist in weight management, e.g. apples, grapefruits, oranges.
- Reduce intakes of fried chicken, which is such a battle as FC is my favorite.
- Drink a lot of plain water.
- Take everything low fat, like low fat milk, low fat yogurt.

ii. Exercizing
- Don't be a lazy bum, use the stairs
- Walk to and fro the office
- Aerobic at least two times a week

Wish me luck!

[8]

Huh! Need to lose another 3 kilos.

This is tough!

[6]

Dear Diary,
I so hate my helper.

I mean, I was doing fine all along, then she has to come two months ago and ruin everything.

The scale was about to be my best friend, you know. Do you understand the pain I have to go through now? When your best friend suddenly becomes enemy. I felt like being stabbed on my chest. Crushed. Heart broken.

Why people, why? Why did you do this to me, Ris? I bought you lots of clothes, for God sake.

I'm so going to throw the scale out of the balcony, if it still says that I'm 3 kg fatter tonight.

OK, I admit. Me eating a lot has little to do with my helper. Eventhough she helps on the house chores, making me an even lazier bum, she didn't do the cooking. I did. I'm sorry, Ris. Yes, I know. I'm a weakling. I couldn't see food. I went all crazy and greedy.

Greedy Tini.
Gobble like a Piggy.
No wonder she's Fatty.

[5]

Dear Diary,
About the last two entries? Oh, por favor. It does not take a chicken to know that it is not necessarily true. I mean, I just met those two whiny women over lunch and from what my eyes gathered and translated by the good neurons of my brain, one is size S and another is not more than size M. Yet they have the nerve to say they're fat. I must be an ogre then.

Once again, por favor.

Having said that, I guess I am a weakling whenever F is involved. No doubt about that. The moment my eyes set on the menu, I was like, lamb chop please and a cheese cake for dessert. Well, do you think you could spare me a Dark Chocolate cake too?

What was I thinking?

Obviously, I wasn't thinking.

Note: The word F shall be banned from this journal, thank you.

[3]

Dear Fattytini,

Isn't it nice to know that you can share your guilt with me?
OOHHH, how I tried hard to shed the extra kilos piling in..

I truly did!

But the problem is, there is so much temptation a mother of two cannot resist eh? Like indulging your chocolates and yummy ice creams. Or even a weekly dose of McDs.. hehehe

And yes, I am glad to tell you my effort for weight loss had also failed.

And yes, to confirm it, I am still fat :D

[2]

Dear Diary,
Even though the ice cream wrapper says "You deserve a TROPHY", that doesn't mean that I deserve one. I mean, I'm fat. Why would I deserve an ice cream when I already have enough fat?



However, I dismissed the thought and went to the cafetaria to get me a Trophy. How bad a stick of ice cream could be eh?

The thing is, dear, you eat Trophy like, every day? Imagine how much fat in that creamy vanilla ice cream. And what with the generous coat of chocolate? That melt heavenly in your mouth?

Thank you for reminding. Now I crave for another one. Thank you so much.

It's not my fault that you're such a weakling.

Just. Shut. Up.

[mumbling to self]

[1]

Dear Diary,
All my wearable office wear were piling on the laundry basket. So, I was left staring at my old yellow kebaya hanging in the closet. I had no other choice.

Eep! Who is that fat old woman staring back in the mirror? Oh my gawd, just look at the bulge on her stomach. Her hip. Her butt. Horrible.

She needs liposuction. Major need.

Hope she remembers not to look at the mirror in the office toilet. People would get shocked hearing a mad woman shrieking out of sudden.